Hospitals Are Like Prison......

I have now just experienced what it is like to have surgery in a foreign country. I really think we are getting a look at all aspects of Korean culture; traveling, food, taxi drivers, and of course the medical care. The short version is I had a polyp in the lining of my uterus which was causing problems. There is no indications of how it occurs, but it usually occurs in women in their 40/50's. Fantastic. How I learned about this. You can read the longer version below.

I have had a few appointments with a wonderful doctor, she is probably the most fluent English speaker I have met in Korea. Which is good since she has been diagnosing my problem. She is really nice and she knows that Foreigners need explanation about diagnosis and the game plan. Knowing me, I ask a lot of questions and I bring in all the research I have done about my symptoms. I like to play doctor too and I have a mental score card of how many times I have been right!!

However before I even got to this doctor, I went to a nearby hospital and all the doctor told me after several invasive tests was, "You need surgery. Speak with the nurse to schedule an appointment." What???? Ok, why? What happened? Her reply was, "I don't have time for this, I have hundreds of patients to attend to." Wow. Apparently I forgot to research the part about how Korean doctors are still in the infancy process of patient care.

After that experience I had no choice but to go to my manager and ask for a recommendation. She gave me Yonsei University Severance Hospital. It is a enormous hospital and it has a fantastic women's specialist. However, the hospital personnel are run by idiots. That is a bit harsh I know. I meant to say ignorant Koreans. You pick which one in nicer and I will move on. My only real problem is that the people who conduct all these tests on you to give to the doctor do not speak English. How are you suppose to follow their directions if you have no idea what to do? Have you ever had blood drawn or an EKG from a person who doesn't speak your language? It's horrible.

On the plus side, the hospital is in cahoots with John Hopkins and has given medical to Mr. and Mrs. Bush. Patrick said that they probably had English speaking personnel. I guess you have to be an American political figure to receive the 5 star treatment.

Ok, now to compare the hospital to a prison. I received a phone call the night before telling me what time I had to arrive and that I couldn't eat after midnight and do not drink water when you wake up. Most people forget, so to write a note for yourself. I got up and was on the bus at 7am because my hospital is a 40minute bus ride. Patrick was going to meet me after I got out of surgery. I get there and they give me room and tell me to change to these rough pj's. Then make me take off all my jewelry and place them in a bag. I have to take off all my nail polish and my glasses. I was bummed because I really liked my nail color, and it was with no chipping for over a week. Then she stuck with an iv and taped it up. Things hurt a lot more when you have no idea what they are doing.

The male resident doctor came in to have me sign my waivers. The first thing he asks is where is your husband? I said, huh? He mentions that there should be a guardian present in case of complications. This makes me freak out and cry because it's not suppose to be a problem and no one told me. He realizes his choice of words were not the best and quickly tries to take them back. What a rookie. I had to call Patrick and tell him to come earlier. Then the doctor is explaining stuff about the procedure I didn't recognize. Apparently I am getting a whole different surgery than I anticipated. I had to make him explain from the beginning. I think I scared him a bit. Koreans don't have a lot of experience working with stronger female personalities.

Next, I am on my way to the anesthesiologist. The nurse took off my socks and was appalled!! I had my toes colored too. She looked at me like I was trying to smuggle in cigarettes to my new cell. Luckily the anesthesiologist spoke good English and made me feel right at home. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room and was freezing!! I asked the lady to my left if I could have a blanket and she said no. I may be dizzy but I still am Latin. I sat up and made everyone scared and I demanded a blanket. Go Latina I not only got a blanket, but a heater too.

20 minutes later I am back in my room. Patrick smuggled water in for me. My throat is a bit soar from what I assumed was a tube down my throat during the surgery. They really leave you to fill in the gaps here. Finally my doctor comes to release me because I called the nurse in and told her I want to go home. I think they were ready for me to leave. She was awesome and gave me pills for all this stuff to help me heal. I got what was close to a Jamba and a muffin and a nice taxi cab ride home.

I am now on the couch with a venti Starbucks. What did I crave? Coffee. I had none yesterday and I really wanted some.

Lesson: Koreans are scared of foreigners. They are afraid to use their English with us because it's not perfect and Koreans are perfectionists. I hope the next time I am in the hospital is to have a baby. Hopefully it will be in America with personnel that speaks English and like to be kind to you.